Though I’m not always sure what that means, compromise seems so essential these days, without it we are more true to ourselves but at the expense of surviving the world we ourselves created…
not sure why I chose that title, just came to mind and it sounded appropriate though I am not sure why… Like those 6th sense moments where you’re not sure why something is relevant and/or important but your gut says so, and we trust it.
Not that I intended this post to be ‘heavy’, actually quite the opposite, cos I feel rather light of heart today, not that I often feel that way enough to write though. However, today is a good day and I don’t acknowledge them often enough, so this is just a credit note for the good days, may many more follow, and our acknowledgment of them!
easy to have it when all goes according to plan, convenient to forget it when things don’t, and then to blame for our own shortcomings… Just saying.
When you should hold on to it tighter during tough times, not take it for granted during the good times and use it as inspiration when we’re honest enough with ourselves to admit our shortcomings… Just saying!
I know I’ve said this before but time necessitates a reminder, sometimes the more we seek the less we find. At times though the thought of ‘merely’ existing doesn’t fit right with our urge to grasp, understand and/or desire to know, but often is exactly at these times that we should put our urge/desire to know aside.
For some strange reason when we find ourselves in these instances it’s the conscious choice to not seek that allows us to find… it’s as though in our energetic and oft misplaced enthusiasm we lose our ability to ‘absorb’ what we need to, like we’re too focused on process to see the truth or any nuances thereof.
We’re so concerned with solving the ‘equation’ that we forget about what led to its formulation…
So 2015 started with much fanfare and here we are in March and the year is just becoming another passage of time, nothing really special about it, save for the bits n pieces happening in people’s lives, sometimes more exciting than others, but mostly I think people are just surviving. Polishing their fake smiles (mostly) agreeing or disagreeing depending on the level of commitment to the argument, discussion and/or person(s) involved…and not really brave enough to put themselves ‘out there’.
Pity that though, cos the world has just morphed into a myriad of constructed situations where our roles are as fake as the lives we lead, I’m generalizing of course, its not all doom and gloom, but sometimes just sometimes when we consciously take a moment and reflect, you’ll realise that the above is true more than we’d like, or want to admit.
The solution, I’m not to sure, its becoming more difficult, the world wants us predictable, wants us controllable cos then we fit in with it’s systems and processes so much better… the solution, I honestly (seriously being honest, sic) don’t know, but you gotta try and fight the grey, maybe the war is lost but hopefully a few battles can still be won!
My word, another year gone (just about) and maybe its my imagination but they actually seem to pass faster and faster…this year felt like 7 odd months and last year felt like 9 odd. A tough year in many respects but I guess that sentiment will be echoed by many out there, but it feels more and more that by just surviving it we’ve somehow been successful in some cosmic game.
It just seems that the world is ‘speeding’ up, more of everything, and much more of the ‘shitty’ stuff, so it seems, or maybe its just finding its way into the media more… dunno, but I reckon the world is spiraling outta control in a sense, I reckon its beyond the point of no return, its just a matter of how long it’s got left…
Sometimes its becomes more evident that life is but a reaction to consequence and not a result of some spontaneous or proactive endeavour…which is unfortunate, but at least there is a modicum of creativity in how we respond to those consequences, but thats only the details, unfortunately the bigger ‘plan’ is beyond our realm of control, as much as we’d like to believe we are the creators of our fate.
And why do I say this, I’ll tell you in the next post.
It’s a new year, there are new resolutions for the year, resolutions we almost definitely will not stick to or achieve, but its in the identifying of them that we acknowledge and/or take stock of where we are in our lives, even if its superficial in a sense. Resolutions are a reflection of the stuff about ourselves that we don’t like (generally) or want to change.
So in a sense there’s an honesty in being able to identify them (assuming there’s more than one), we then go straight ahead (some quicker than others) and ‘rubbish’ them and by the end of January most of us don’t even remember what they were, BUT, at least for the briefest of time we acknowledged that there is ‘stuff’ about us that’s not perfect (not that we are ignorant to the ‘stuff’ but its serves our selfish parochial tendencies better to ‘not engage’ with, said ‘stuff’), and maybe we need to. Instead of just going through the habitual ‘resolution identifying process’ in mid December (or late on the 31st, a few minutes before midnight), we should force ourselves, on a more regular basis to take stock of that ‘stuff’, take a few minutes (or hours, depending on the ‘heap’ of ‘stuff’ you have) and put in a consummate effort to ‘make’, ‘modify’ and ‘amend’ ourselves to better reflect the innate tendencies of self “less”ness, humility and being a better person to the world and those in it, even if it necessitates a bit of ‘sacrifice’ of self, do it! the world desperately needs it!
It’s when you stand in the absolute blackness of night, your soul, hammered into submission by time’s relentless ravaging, doubt now so manifest you know it’s true, and fear so tangible you can’t find the will to scream, and then, knowing the demon stands behind you, you turn and face it, and in the almost certainty of defeat, you fight the good fight, raging against it with every ounce of you you have left, cos you know being good and true in this life is battle eternal, and right at that moment the act is more important than the outcome… Then you know what it is to true to you.